Dirty Bertie: Toothy!

'''Dirty Bertie: Toothy! '''is a book.

Toothy
Bertie is eating biscuits, when Mrs. Burns comes in and tells the kids that they have a dentist's appointment the next day. Bertie is nervous, but Suzy likes going to the dentist and teases him for his fear. He denies being scared, but he actually thinks the dentist, Mr. Filling, looks intimidating. Bertie tries to convince Mrs. Burns that he can't go as he has school, but she reveals that she dropped a note to Miss Boot. Bertie then becomes even more nervous remembering that he doesn't brush his teeth every day.

He writes a fake note from Miss Boot saying that he never has to go to the dentist again, but Mrs. Burns recognises the handwriting and observes that Miss Boot's name is misspelled.

Bertie then has a nightmare that Mr. Filling has fangs, then wakes up glad it was only a nightmare but still dreading the dentist.

At the dentist, Bertie again denies his fear because no one else seems nervous and he wants to seem mature, but Suzy makes him go first. Mrs. Burns offers to come with him, but he refuses because he sees that as babyish. Then, he overhears Mr. Filling and a nurse talking about someone who's both male and seven years old needing to be put to sleep. Bertie, being a seven-year-old boy, believes they're talking about him. He decides to escape without telling Mrs. Burns because she wouldn't believe him, and goes into the cloakroom.

He sees a window, but it's too high, and a toilet, but that won't fit him, then he sees some coats and decides to disguise himself. He puts on a hat, coat, and scarf, and walks out to the waiting room, where the nurse mistakes him for a man named Mr. Froggat. He mumbles and books Mr. Froggat's appointment. Mrs. Burns asks Bertie if he's seen Bertie, then his hat falls off and he tries to run away, but she grabs him by the scarf.

She then drags him into the operating room where Mr. Filling talks to him, but then Bertie gets up and screams when Mr. Filling gets a dental tool. He grabs a giant fake toothbrush to use as a "weapon" to defend himself with, then dashes into the waiting room and tells Suzy that he believes Mr. Filling wants to kill him. Mrs. Burns and Mr. Filling enter and Bertie reveals that he thinks Mr. Filling wants to kill him and mentioned putting someone to sleep. Mr. Filling explains that he was talking about his dog Rex who has a terminal illness.

Mr. Filling examines Bertie's teeth and finds them fine. Bertie is embarrassed for being scared, but then Mr. Filling reveals that Suzy used to be afraid of him too and relied on a teddy bear named Mr. Teddikins.

Zoom
Mrs. Burns excitedly runs into the kitchen and announces they will be flying on a plane. Mr. Burns groans, but the kids are excited, especially Bertie, who even feels like he might pass out, as he's never flown before due to Mr. Burns making excuses because of his acrophobia.

Three weeks later, the Burnses go to the airport and Bertie is impatient, while Mr. Burns is snappy. They board the plane and the males sit next to each other, while the females sit next to each other behind them, with Bertie in the window seat. Bertie tests all the buttons, while an elderly, large-eared man sits next to Mr. Burns. The flight attendants talk about emergencies which excites Bertie but scares Mr. Burns.

The plane takes off and Bertie wants Mr. Burns to look at the view but he says no because he's afraid of flying and therefore hates it.

A long time later, Bertie is now bored because he has done all his activities, and he is hungry but his parents won't let him get a snack. He has nature call, and his parents direct him to the bathroom. While waiting for the toilet to be available, Bertie looks around and discovers a large red button. He presses it and it makes loud "woop, woop" noises and causes a red light to flash.

Tina, the fight attendant, tells Bertie to go back to his seat despite not having a chance to use the toilet because the seat belt sign is on. He nervously goes back to his seat and when Mr. Burns asks what it was, he suggests a fire alarm, which starts a rumour that the plane is on fire.

However, the alarm is soon turned off and the staff reveal that it was only a mistake. Mr. Burns asks Bertie if he touched it and Bertie denies it but everyone gets suspicious because he reveals that he knows it was a red button. They land, but Mr. Burns is still grumpy.

Hot
It is a hot day at school. Darren sneaks a drink at the fountain by pretending he needs to use the toilet and Bertie tries to do the same, but Miss Boot says no. Even worse, an ice cream truck drives by and Miss Boot won't let him buy an ice cream.

At break time, the ice cream truck is still there but Bertie, Darren, and Eugene, who want ice creams, can't access it. That is, until Bertie finds a hole in the fence. Darren distracts Miss Boot by pretending he saw a rat by a bin and Miss Boot runs away to get Mr. Grouch.

Bertie sneaks through the hole and buys the ice creams, but the bell rings and his friends go back to class. He can't go back through the hole as no one is holding it open. He begins licking all three ice creams because he can't give Darren and Eugene their ice creams, but if he held onto them, they'd melt.

Two men arrive and load boxes onto a truck to the school, and Bertie climbs into a box to hitch a ride. He is then delivered directly into class.